Sunday, June 10, 2012

The beginning

I made the decision that this year would be the beginning of my learning to say YES in my life again. All too often I have found myself saying "no" or "I can't" or perhaps "not now" and many of the multiple forms of no. That word has had such a negative impact on my outlook. I came to a place where that's all I was hearing myself say and it just didn't feel good. I was being offered amazing opportunities and turning them down and then getting depressed about my perceived inability to take on some of these chances. One of these was the opportunity to go to Europe, something I've dreamt of doing all my life. Why was I saying no??? Suddenly, I said YES. Now, of course it is impossible to literally say YES to everything. For me this is more about a perspective of YES. A recent example of this is regarding my turning down my admission into grad school this year. I said no to grad school, something that I do desire with all my being. I have however, been struggling with health issues and these problems are only aggravated further by stress. Let's face it, grad school, though worth the work is bound to be incredibly stressful. So, after much consideration, I chose to say YES to my health right now. Since making this decision, I've been very serious about it as I do fully intend to go back to school once I am healthy again. In pursuit of health, I have found myself saying YES to the outdoors, sunshine (I've always maintained a distaste for the sun), adventure, and it appears, most of all hiking!

Every Saturday, I am up with the sun and throwing my gear into my pack so I can get out on the trails as soon as possible for the day. My body is not accustomed to the work, I am usually in pain for a week afterwards, but this doesn't stop me. I actually found myself smiling with the residual pain as it was like my body's way collecting souvenirs from my trips. Corny? Absolutely. It has now been a month of weekend adventures, and I feel like I can take it to the next level, wonder what it will be? Can't wait to find out!