I made the decision that this
year would be the beginning of my learning to say YES in my life again. All too
often I have found myself saying "no" or "I can't" or
perhaps "not now" and many of the multiple forms of no. That word has
had such a negative impact on my outlook. I came to a place where that's all I
was hearing myself say and it just didn't feel good. I was being offered
amazing opportunities and turning them down and then getting depressed about my
perceived inability to take on some of these chances. One of these was the
opportunity to go to Europe, something I've dreamt of doing all my life. Why
was I saying no??? Suddenly, I said YES. Now, of course it is impossible to
literally say YES to everything. For me this is more about a perspective of
YES. A recent example of this is regarding my turning down my admission into
grad school this year. I said no to grad school, something that I do desire
with all my being. I have however, been struggling with health issues and these
problems are only aggravated further by stress. Let's face it, grad school,
though worth the work is bound to be incredibly stressful. So, after much
consideration, I chose to say YES to my health right now. Since making this decision,
I've been very serious about it as I do fully intend to go back to school once
I am healthy again. In pursuit of health, I have found myself saying YES to the
outdoors, sunshine (I've always maintained a distaste for the sun), adventure,
and it appears, most of all hiking!
Every Saturday, I am up with
the sun and throwing my gear into my pack so I can get out on the trails as
soon as possible for the day. My body is not accustomed to the work, I am
usually in pain for a week afterwards, but this doesn't stop me. I actually
found myself smiling with the residual pain as it was like my body's way
collecting souvenirs from my trips. Corny? Absolutely. It has now been a month
of weekend adventures, and I feel like I can take it to the next level, wonder
what it will be? Can't wait to find out!